After talking about my ideas last week, I began thinking that although these things interest me I am having problems narrowing my project down because they were not personal enough issues. I have been nervous to explore the issue of New Orleans because I have done work on the subject before and it felt too easy. It is however the place that shaped me as a child and to an even greater degree after Hurricane Katrina.
The storm left every individual broken and my family was no exception. At first it was the unknown that left a nauseating fear that could not be shaken. When answers did come they just brought with them more questions. Where would we live? What about school? Were our friends safe?
We ended up settling in Houston for the time being, trying to keep on living but we really were refugees. Having left for we thought would be a weekend, just finding clothes to wear became one of many apparent problems. Its almost funny because we have a hurricane routine, everyone does, when you live that close to the Gulf hurricanes are always a possibility, just rarely a reality. We each had our jobs to prepare the house for a storm and we each get one bag of our most important belongings. Thinking back, I’m not sure how I made the choice of what would go into that bag. How do you choose the things you want with you if you were to loose everything else?
In the few weeks that followed we eventually moved from our small hotel room into an apartment and started at a new school. A friend, who was also at my school, and I clung to each other and our mutual wanting to be home. This however proved disastrous when she left in October and I felt more alone then ever. My family and I tried to find a new routine, but the lingering thoughts of home remained. I was angry, lonely, depressed, and then for a moment happy. But then I would catch myself because something about feeling happy just felt wrong.
We lived apart for the second semester of my junior year. My mother and brother stayed in Houston while my dad and I lived in New Orleans. He did however need to be in Houston for days at a time both for work and to spend time with my mom. This left me alone at times, trying to put back the pieces of my once carefree life. Although, I had much responsibility in making sure the work to fix our house went along smoothly, I was relieved to be back at home with my friends, my school, and my house. It was comfortable. There were days and moments where laughter replaced the feelings of hurt. I would even forget that anything had ever happened, but then with no notice reminder would come crashing back. By summer we were all back in New Orleans again living as a family. Senior year was year of rebuilding not just for us but for the city as a whole. The Saints and their miracle season brought hope for us all.
After graduation however near the end of the summer, my parents hit me with the news that for work reasons they would be moving to Houston come fall. I was angry, my brother was angry, and my mom was unsure. My dad however did not want our family to split up again and at the end of the day that was that.
The moved happened after I left for college and it wasn’t until months later that I saw their new house. They still spend a decent amount of time in New Orleans between my dad’s work, the Saints, and friends who are like family, but I remain separate from their new life. It’s a life that I have no place in. At the same time because of their move I am also disconnected to my old one. College is supposed to be a time to grow and learn and that was part of my reasons for choosing school so far away, but as a result I feel so separated from my family. Their house is not my home; it is a strange place where I spend breaks.
The move has left me with no home base. When asked where I am from it is such a confusing answer. Of course I said New Orleans, but I dread the question that follows: so how were you affected by Katrina? My back and forth lifestyle between New Orleans and Houston is confusing and I just altogether hard to explain. I’m not sure where I fit in or where I truly belong. After graduation, the idea of moving home does not apply to me. I have no real home. My family no longer resides in the place that raised me but the place they call home has no emotional pull. Even my mother thinks its still sounds strange saying she’s from Houston and she will always say it just not home. In fact, lately my parents have wondered whether they made the right decision. Either way, the repercussions of the storm are still affecting our family and the city of New Orleans.
This idea of home, New Orleans, and recovery are all things I want to explore. I have begun doing reading on these topics to try and spark ideas of where to move next. I also collected the material and syllabus from the ArtDes class Home from last semester and I am beginning to start investigating more artists who work on similar subjects.
As I read, I have been marking areas of interest as well as writing down my own ideas sparked by different things I am reading. I hope these readings will be a starting point on my road to discovery for a final IP concept. I feel as if I have made some progress narrowing down a topic, but still have a ways to go.
Books I'm reading:
-Home by Alison Blunt and Boryn Dowling
-book from Home class which talks about the meaning of home
-Coming Back Stronger by Drew Brees
-the intertwined recovery of Drew Brees and the city of New Orleans
-1 Dead in the Attic by Chris Rose (rereading)
-a collection of newspaper articles following the 18 months after Katrina
-I used this book both for inspiration and collaging for the piece on New Orleans and the roses that I wrote about
-Do You Know What Its Like To Miss New Orleans?
-a collection of essays of people trying to the pieces of their lives back together in the aftermath of the storm
-Lure of the Local: Senses of Place in a Multicentered Society by Lucy R. Lippard
-a look a the ongoing transformation of the American landscape
-Gumbo Ya Ya: Folk Tales of Louisiana
I have read half of Home and 1 Dead in the Attic and the first 2 chapters of Coming Back Stronger.
A few of my thoughts and questions as well quotes I think are meaningful…so far:
-“You didn’t have to lose our house, your car, your dog, your job, or your grandparents in an attic to suffer the impact of this storm. Unfortunately, most folks around South Louisiana and Mississippi did lose some or all of this. Others lost less tangible assets: their peace of mind, security, serenity, ability to concentrate, notions of romance, sobriety, sanity and hope”.
-“It reminds me of home”----what does this mean?
-Idea of never leaving home, staying in the same place for your whole life—does this mean that’s more a home then an adopted one or one you make for yourself?
-“Pretending life goes on. Just trying to stay busy. Just trying not to think. Just trying not to fail, really. Gotta keep moving”.
-“What does home mean to you? Where, when and why do you feel at home? To what extent does our sense of home travel across different times, places, and scales?
-questions that I am asking myself
-“You might have positive or negative feelings about home, or a mixture of the two. Your sense of home might be closely shaped by your memories of childhood, alongside your present experiences and your dreams for the future”.
-a home is much more than just a household
-Home is ….
-“a special place: a ‘irreplaceable centre of significance’ and a place ‘to which one withdrawals and form which one ventures forth’”
-“how people relate and experience their dwellings as well as how people create a sense of home in terms of comfort and belongs”
-far beyond a dwelling
-our house is our corner of the world
-“the house shelters day-dreaming, the house protects the dreamer, the house allows one to dream in peace”
-how do experiences as well as political, social and economic implications relate to a person’s relationship to a place or home?
-“Home does not simply exist, but is made”
-homely vs unhomley
-what is a home: a neighborhood, a nation, etc?
-how does memory play into the idea of home?
-home is the history of ordinary people…untold stories of lives being lived
-landscape of home…how can I represent this visually?
-how does displacement relate to home?
-how do possessions relate to home?
-four themes about home
-“a dissatisfaction or frustration with home”
-“nostalgia for a past home”
-“a rupture”
-“the rhythms of daily life in the home”
I am definitely still all over the place in terms of thoughts, but I think I am on my way to narrowing in on firmer idea. Apart from research and reading, this week I also continued to explore the mixing of materials.
For next week I want to continue reading, finishing both the Home and 1 Dead in the Attic and hopefully Coming Back Stronger as well. I also want to continue to explore materials, working with both paint and glass. Until next time….
